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I feel passionately that while we're
here in this life, we have to live life,

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we have to explore it, we have to
venture into areas that may seem a

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uncomfortable at first in order to
understand them.

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And in the process of making this film,
I have in my personal life gone out and

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explored things that I don't think I
would have done otherwise if I had not

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exposed to them.

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Although some of those things I wouldn't
necessarily rush out to do again,

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having had the experience has made me a
more complete person.

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In interviewing over 100 people, I feel
like I have made a lot of new friends,

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and I discovered a lot of things that I
was completely unaware of beforehand.

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People often talk about sex and violence
as if they're one and the same thing,

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when in reality they are each other's
opposite.

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Sex is always consensual, whereas
violence is when something is done to a

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against their free will.

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A lot of people don't seem to understand
this fundamental difference, and it is

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frightening when that is the case among
politicians, lawmakers, religious

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leaders, and others who are controlling
what we as adults can and cannot do.

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This film will show some sex acts that
may seem questionable, or even

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objectionable to some people.

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It is, however, what these people choose
to do in the pursuit of their

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happiness.

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I like being tied up doing fantasy
stuff.

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Breath control is one of my very
favorites. I think I always knew I was a

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different sexually.

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I like everything.

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I like water sports. I like bondage,
electricity, everything.

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But fisting is my favorite.

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I like a good old -fashioned blowjob
against a fisting scene any day.

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That's just a little old me, a little
vanilla me.

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I've kind of gotten to foot worship a
little bit lately.

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I have a lot of kinky things I like to
do in private that I don't get to do on

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camera so much.

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And my mission in life is to get
everyone to be as comfortable with their

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sexuality as I am with mine.

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All sounds go text when spoken about
without experience.

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When we're small children, we speak
about...

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Our parents having sex together, and
we're totally offended and grossed out.

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But we get a little older, and we try
the things we discover, the beauty in

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them. Well, all kinds of sexuality and
fetish have beauty and lovemaking

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potential. If the bedrooms of the world
were opened up, we would see some very

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bizarre and very kinky people.

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Who are these people?

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Typical person.

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I just have to say a perm.

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Mainly doctors, lawyers.

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People in a corporate position.

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I'm Dr. Alex Doris -Barrion. I am a
medical director of Terranova Medical

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I'm Tony Mill.

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I don't know exactly how to introduce
myself. Medical doctor, former

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international Mr. Leather, 1998,

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cult model.

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I'm Dr. Carol Queen. I have a doctorate
in sexology, which is the scientific

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study of sexuality and sex and culture.
I practice law in the city of Los

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Angeles. My old friends call me Bulldog.

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Hi, I'm Randy Rage. I do face films for
Bizarre Video. I'm Cole Tucker, and if

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you don't know me, I have been very
fortunate and successful in the gay

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video entertainment business.

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If you haven't seen my work and you like
leather sex and man sex, check it out.

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My name's Chloe.

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I'm an adult. I'm Shishi LaRue, world
famous, though I've heard,

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porn director and drag queen. My name is
Nina Hartley. I have been a sexual

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entertainer since 1983 and have expanded
into writing, producing, directing,

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lecturing about sexuality and
pornography and feminism.

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I'm also a registered nurse.

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I've always worked in restaurants.

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I'm Richard Hunter, and I'm the owner of
Mr. F. Leather.

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I own a leather store in San Francisco.

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My name is Matias Wigner. I'm a writer
and an academic. I teach at CalArts. I'm

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an escort.

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I have sex for money.

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I'm a proton. I do special effects for
movies.

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I'm a whore. I'm a normal guy.

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If there's any people that I've worked
with in the past that are watching this

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movie, they're going to be shocked to
friggin' hell that...

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I'm on camera saying that I'd like to
have a fist or two shoved up my ass.

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I'd like to be fucked by a dog. And, you
know, I drink urine for fun.

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What are your fantasies?

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And what are your deep, dark, secret
fantasies?

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I can't really talk about it. It's
illegal.

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My wildest fantasy, I guess, would be to
do it in a taxi cab going down Sunset

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on a Saturday night.

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My kinkiest fantasy, I guess, would be
to, years ago, was to have a harem. I

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to live out all of my sexual fantasies.
You should always try it twice because

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you might have screwed up the first
time. Do you want to have sex?

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I would do a gangbang with twins.

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A set of twins.

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A whole...

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Bunch of sets of twins.

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Now you want to hear a ting ting.

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Sets of fucking twins, baby.

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Bunches of them.

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Bunches of them. Bunches.

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Triplets.

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Fucking triplets.

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I like tough, sexy drag.

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Do you want to have wild, extreme sex?

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A little bit wild is nice, definitely.

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I can enjoy a lot of things in my
fantasies that I'm sure I would never

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reality. Abduction fantasies.

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stealing someone away to play with them.

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I'd love to have a movie, actually have
somebody making a movie about it where

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they might set it up so they've told me
that this might happen and that kind of

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thing, so I'm not totally shocked, but
have them come and get me from my house.

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and abduct me and then take me into the
scene and then... That's a lot of thing,

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kidnapping, you know, whatever.

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I mean, we all played it. And kids, we
just played it different.

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Yeah, I mean, it's fun. I mean, it's
exciting. Just make me do everything

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you want me to.

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I'd like to be gang raped.

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Probably in a leather bar.

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My ultimate fantasy, the darkest,
deepest one, is to be taken into a life

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no return bondage.

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We're kept shackled, collared,
everything locked on.

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And as a ritual, like the first date, he
puts all the keys into a box of cement

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and throws it down the river.

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Being with Courtney Love would be my
biggest fantasy now.

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My wildest fantasy is having a nice warm
bath with some candles with somebody I

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love. Because I've done everything else.

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I've lived every fantasy I've ever had.

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Your biggest sexual organ is your brain,
so you have to stimulate that. You can

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get physical stimulation and
gratification, but it's never as intense

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when your mind is a part of it, playing
a part of it. Your fantasies, your

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fears, your strength, they all come into
it, especially in this type of play,

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which calls for a lot more elements of
your person.

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Why would somebody want to get flogged
or get fisted?

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We live in a world of very...

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passive banal values. We watch life on
television go by.

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Very few of us really experience the
zest, the enthusiasm.

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Maybe people will go bungee jumping or
something, but for those who aren't out

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for bungee jumping, feeling intensity is
so rare in our culture.

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I don't like to climb mountains.

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I don't jump out of airplanes, but I
think I'd like to try that.

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And all these adrenaline rushes and ways
that, especially guys,

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like to prove themselves to themselves.

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This is a sexual way of doing that.

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I think everybody has a wild side,
though. I mean, deep down inside, we're

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an animal.

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Some of the ones who don't dress up very
much, meaning that they're not wearing

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a lot of fetish clothing, they're the
ones who are the most severe in the

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bedroom. They're little demons in the
bedroom, but, you know, if you saw them

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the street, you'd think they were just
mom and pop.

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I don't know what kinky is, you know?

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What is... kinky.

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Smacking somebody's butt is kinky?

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No, I've known people that have been
doing it for 30 years and I'm sure they

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know people that have been doing it for
30 years before them.

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And I know in Roman times people were
doing it too.

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Kinky to me might be very normal to
other people or vice versa.

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It is just what sex is for me.

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So, I mean, there are certainly
highlights of of things that have been

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wonderful, like exploring daddy -girl
play, which has really enhanced my life.

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What for me makes kinky play fun is when
I allow myself to go into areas that

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still give me that charge, the creeper
behind the breath bone. There's some

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things that go beyond the conventional
or the ordinary, and yet we can find

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emotional, spiritual, and physical
fulfillment in it. Action.

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Beat the shit out of somebody while I'm
having sex.

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And therefore, I don't have to go out
and pick a fight with somebody in a bar.

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You know, I mean, I can take out my
aggression sexually and release that

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and be a better person for it.

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The kinkiest thing I've done is arrest a
woman, you know, arrest her, make her

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get on the wall or whatever, pat her
down and, you know, handcuff her and go

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from there. You know, leave her totally
parley.

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I have sex with the pastor's son at her
church.

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I glued a dildo on the washing machine
and then fucked it.

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I've nearly died a few times having sex,
so I guess that would be sort of

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extreme. I've been on a St. Andrew's
crop and flopped. It was really intense.

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It was really cathartic. It sort of blew
off some steam.

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I thanked someone in my pajamas for
free, of course, and poured candle wax

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his testicles.

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Which he didn't really like, but I liked
it.

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I'm kind of trisexual. I'll try anything
with anybody.

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I've been around the block a few times.
That's all I'm going to say. I have not

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had sex with myself in 15 years, so I
don't know. And what happens out there

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pretty much beyond me. Anything that's
not vanilla to the normal public. Just a

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guy on top, girl, you know, two people,
making love, you know,

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normal. Normal sex, I guess anything
outside of that might be considered

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You know you've got extreme fetishes
when you see a sports character book go

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and you literally get a heart on it. How
did you get started?

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I was into kinky sex even before I
realized it was kinky.

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Ever since I started being involved with
people sexually, I was being tied up,

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thanked.

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Strange implements being used on me. I
love the idea of initiating someone, you

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know?

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surprising someone. Someone who, you
know, essentially like corrupting

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I was into rough sex from a very early
age and that just naturally progressed

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into us. Long before I had any idea what
sex was, my fantasies were basically

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being kidnapped by a bunch of bikers and
bound and gagged back on the floor and

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them humiliating me.

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thinking about SM all the time to the
point where I wasn't really in my body a

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lot of the time. I was off in fantasy
land.

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But I wasn't getting it that this was
turning me on and I wasn't getting it

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this was something I could actually
enact.

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At the time, you know, I was living a
relatively traditional lifestyle. I was

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wife and mother and writing ad copy for
a living and living in a small

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California city and I had no access to
the kinds of information that I would

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have needed to tell me that This was not
really all that uncommon.

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Many people fantasize briefly about
certain sexual activities, but because

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they've never seen them enacted and
they've never talked to other people

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00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:03,360
them, it's not a major part of their
inner sexual fantasy life.

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00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:09,960
I think SM is increasing in popularity
among women to an unprecedented degree.

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00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:14,800
And I think what's driving this largely
is the Internet.

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00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:21,090
I mean, back in the pre -internet days,
to find information about S andM, you

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00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:27,090
basically had to go into an adult
bookstore or something similar, and most

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00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:31,290
just simply were never going to do that.
People who have deviant or unusual

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00:14:31,290 --> 00:14:32,970
sexual interests...

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00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:38,620
are getting on the Internet and they're
finding other like -minded people who

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are doing the same thing. And in a
sense, what it's doing is it is

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for them these sexual activities that
before they may have thought they were

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only one.

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00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:55,400
The Internet here is great because it
has availability of information on all

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this stuff that you would never go to
your librarian and ask for.

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00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,780
Excuse me, I'm really into piss play,
could you?

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00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:05,660
Give me a book that tells me HIV
transferred in urine.

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We all have an element of light and
darkness within ourselves, and I think

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certain types of play and certain
elements of this world allow us to

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that, have fun with it, play with it. If
you embrace your dark side, you have

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control over it.

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And if you don't and you repress it, all
of a sudden it'll control you.

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The dark.

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is essentially wanting to be liberated
and received with love because the whole

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universe is based on love and pleasure.

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So essentially there's a lot of things
that people reject, yet everything is

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here for us to experience.

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I have clients that come to me who are
just exploring BDSM, and they're afraid,

225
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,350
and they feel shame -based.

226
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:52,870
They're having issues at home if they've
talked to husband or wife about it, and

227
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,250
husband or wife...

228
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:55,950
doesn't agree or feels uncomfortable.

229
00:15:57,010 --> 00:16:02,130
They need connection to the community.
They need to know where to get started.

230
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,810
They need to know how to live, how to
get what it is they want.

231
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:09,550
And in many ways, I'm an educator.

232
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:16,170
And I really, really like that I'm
helping people to open their sexual

233
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:22,080
and feel comfortable with themselves and
stop having the shame of having more

234
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,340
love for themselves and acceptance for
that part of themselves.

235
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,400
I need somebody, or not just need, I...
Oh, it's total communication. I will

236
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:35,000
not. I will not get into a scene or get
into something unless I'm sure that that

237
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,100
person knows what they're doing.

238
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:43,260
Oh. The more guys that are in their 30s
are more apt to be...

239
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:49,020
interest in the same thing that I'm
interested in than guys in their 20s.

240
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:53,400
And I kind of sized them up and couldn't
tell.

241
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,080
what they're interested in, and if they
would be the type for me. One of the

242
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:03,160
things you're probably familiar with is
what we call the hanky code, a practice

243
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:08,099
of wearing a bandana or hanky in your
back pocket, left being active, right

244
00:17:08,099 --> 00:17:13,760
being quote -unquote passive, meaning
you're the one who takes it, for lack of

245
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,400
better word, and red.

246
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:19,150
is the color for fisting. There's a
whole bunch of others, like blue for

247
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:25,150
fucking, light blue for blowjobs, black
for heavy S andM, gray for bondage, yellow

248
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:29,230
for water sports. It just goes on and
on. There's a lot of people into some

249
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:31,830
weird stuff, as far as sex is concerned.

250
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:33,980
It's not really that hard.

251
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,900
I mean, you just stick a hanky in your
pocket and somebody will come and start

252
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:42,260
talking to you. The whole nature of
consent in SM is widely misunderstood

253
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:46,640
because when you see it on television,
the bad, evil, nasty sadist does not sit

254
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,540
down and negotiate for an hour before
they actually get out their long, snaky,

255
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:53,120
terrible whip. They just start flailing
away.

256
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:57,080
Before anybody gets any toys out of the
bag, there's going to be a time when

257
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,560
people sit down and say, I really like
it when someone does this.

258
00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:06,850
This, you know, I don't really like it,
but I'm willing to do it if you like it.

259
00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:08,970
And this, I really don't want to do at
all.

260
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:12,330
You know, if you do that, then we don't
have a scene.

261
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:16,830
In order to negotiate a scene, you have
to follow four basic rules.

262
00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:18,690
One is communication.

263
00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:26,030
No matter what situation you're in, you
have to be able to communicate with the

264
00:18:26,030 --> 00:18:30,840
person. When two people are alone and
one of them is naked and tied up and the

265
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:35,280
other one is standing over them with
their arms full of torture implements,

266
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,140
is not the time to have a mismatch of
expectations.

267
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,760
Whoever you're working with, you have to
trust, like with all your heart,

268
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,709
because there's...

269
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:46,910
I have a lot of hair, there's a lot of
fire, there's a lot of knives, there's

270
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:49,130
metal grinders with sparks flying.

271
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:55,950
And to me, it's very caring and loving
and trusting the person that you're

272
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:57,010
there with.

273
00:18:57,210 --> 00:19:01,130
Once we agree upon, consensually, that
we're going to do a scene together, then

274
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,130
we need to commit to the scene.

275
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:05,510
We need to give ourselves over. I think
she's pretty committed right now. She's

276
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:07,170
actually allowed herself to be
restrained.

277
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:10,390
You can't get much more committed than
that. And she trusts me enough.

278
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,480
to allow her to be restrained,
especially in this setting now where

279
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,980
the interview, it's a private setting.
It's more intimate. The trust level goes

280
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:18,759
way up.

281
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:23,580
Her head space or her focus is in on the
scene, and that is even more so than

282
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,120
for the master or the top.

283
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,900
Some, you know, focus is being aware of
the body language, being aware of what's

284
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:36,380
happening, because like we said in the
beginning, she might not know what the

285
00:19:36,380 --> 00:19:41,090
terminology is. And when you're
negotiating a scene, the standard for, A

286
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:45,490
is a stoplight sequence. Red, yellow,
green. Red stops a theme.

287
00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:52,630
On a few occasions, I've learned that
the bottom wished that I

288
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:55,170
had stopped considerably before I did.

289
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,610
But at the time, they didn't communicate
that to me.

290
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:05,780
BDSM is a term used for the entire world
of fetish. BND, which is bondage and

291
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:10,280
discipline, DNS, which is dominant
submission, and, of course, S andM, which

292
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:16,540
theomasticism. BDSM is kind of a
generalized term used to compass all

293
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:23,080
areas. DNS is the psychological aspect
of BDSM. S andM is the physical aspect of

294
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:29,220
BDSM. We sort of divide things into
playing, you know, having sexual

295
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:31,300
or S andM activities with...

296
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:39,770
People who we like or are attracted to
versus more serious relationships,

297
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:41,210
romantic things.

298
00:20:41,410 --> 00:20:45,690
And we just tend to divide those more
and not necessarily feel like they have

299
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:46,690
be one and the same.

300
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,730
I like really long things that last for
a weekend.

301
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:55,290
I've played, you know, up to 30 days
with somebody. I mean, not that for a

302
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:56,790
month. We don't just...

303
00:20:57,100 --> 00:21:01,680
Have sex for an hour or 30 minutes. No,
this is a dream.

304
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:08,700
It's a continuation. Yeah, this could
be, it could be, yeah, at least six to

305
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:14,680
eight hours. I mean, that's pretty much
the minimal that most people in our

306
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,060
realm do.

307
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:21,500
Our level of experience. They are not
going to waste their time because really

308
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,800
most of them are very, very talented.

309
00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:26,680
I mean, most of them are very talented.

310
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:33,060
How do you get into bondage? The
neighborhood boy, I was in second grade,

311
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,280
whatever age that is, tied me up on a
field.

312
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:42,030
and left me there. I was very scared,
and probably at that age, that was

313
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:44,710
probably one of the most exciting things
that had ever happened to me.

314
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:49,190
When he untied me, he just told me, I
remember him saying, don't tell anybody

315
00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:50,770
did this or I'll really get you.

316
00:21:51,030 --> 00:21:53,750
And I never did, but it certainly turned
me on.

317
00:21:54,290 --> 00:22:00,590
Bondage involves a great deal of trust
with both parties, and that trust

318
00:22:00,590 --> 00:22:05,470
factor alone I find very mentally
stimulating.

319
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:14,660
When one person is physically
restrained, it creates a certain

320
00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:15,880
can be exciting to explore.

321
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:19,360
There are a number of reasons to
restrain somebody.

322
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:29,080
What the bottom does in the restraining
situation is that it's giving

323
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:33,900
themselves over, knowing that they are
in what you might call a helpless

324
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:36,600
position. That's a matter of trust.

325
00:22:36,990 --> 00:22:39,070
It kind of changes the dynamics of the
scene.

326
00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:43,370
I seem to put the people at ease, and
they're very trusting. I can pretty much

327
00:22:43,370 --> 00:22:47,650
restrain everybody, blindfold everybody,
gag everybody, and do anything that I

328
00:22:47,650 --> 00:22:51,130
want to them within reason. Most of the
people do have a code word, and I have

329
00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:52,130
yet to have it used.

330
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:59,410
Just as a note to bottoms, never
critique your top while they're doing

331
00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:00,910
thing. It'll be really mean to you.

332
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,760
What is it about being tied up that I
want to look for?

333
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,820
What is it about me that I get off on
time sometimes?

334
00:23:47,140 --> 00:23:51,640
One of the main draws for bondage for me
was the fact that you go outside of

335
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:56,830
yourself by confining yourself to the
point that You have nowhere to go but a

336
00:23:56,830 --> 00:24:00,110
little bit crazy, and then after you go
a little bit crazy, you go past that

337
00:24:00,110 --> 00:24:05,390
into another place. And in that place,
it's incredibly free. You let go of

338
00:24:05,390 --> 00:24:09,990
everything, all your troubles, all your
worries, your expectations, your hopes,

339
00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:15,330
your anxieties, your fears. Everything
just melts away, and you come back a

340
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,129
different person.

341
00:24:16,130 --> 00:24:22,830
How you tie them depends on what you
plan to have happen after you tie them.

342
00:24:22,830 --> 00:24:23,870
most tiring part is...

343
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,800
The constant choreography that you have
to do, you know, if you want to do

344
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,100
something to someone later, you have to
have them in the right position, so you

345
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,140
have to keep thinking ahead all the
time.

346
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,380
Blindfolds are really good bondage
devices because when they can't see

347
00:24:37,380 --> 00:24:40,740
coming at them, they don't cringe.

348
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,780
They don't change their natural relaxed
state.

349
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,740
Any kind of constriction or restriction
to the body has a soothing effect.

350
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,170
So sometimes a blindfold tends to relax
somebody.

351
00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:58,510
Being blindfolded and really not knowing
who was coming in and I was having sex

352
00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:02,530
with, that's actually really hot.

353
00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:06,910
The guy wants to come in here on a
Friday afternoon after work and stay in

354
00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:10,210
space until Sunday afternoon when we get
ready to go back to work the next day.

355
00:25:10,370 --> 00:25:11,670
He wants no code word.

356
00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:15,210
I can do anything I want to him. I can
rent him out. I can tie him up. He wants

357
00:25:15,210 --> 00:25:16,710
sensory deprivation, the myth.

358
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,020
He's like a coffin type thing. He'd like
to be restrained in a jail cell.

359
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,020
He's been duct taped to a cell.

360
00:25:24,420 --> 00:25:27,580
He likes to be in something like that
where I have total control. I get to do

361
00:25:27,580 --> 00:25:31,220
anything that I want to. I would like to
try part of the getting your body

362
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:33,940
pulled in, closed in, like saran wrap,
duct tape.

363
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:37,560
The first time I ever actually
ejaculated, I still didn't know what the

364
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,320
was. I didn't know that this was coming.
I didn't know what ejaculation was or

365
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,279
anything.

366
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,100
I had no idea what saran wrap was. I
like the feeling of...

367
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,060
Having somebody else have control over
me that I trust.

368
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:55,500
I love it when people really are very
submissive. People who have real

369
00:25:55,500 --> 00:26:00,260
jobs, the judges, the doctors, the
attorneys, the people who have to be in

370
00:26:00,260 --> 00:26:01,260
control all the time.

371
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:02,820
They love to bottom.

372
00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:06,140
They need to bottom. They're in control
all day.

373
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:09,960
And so whether it be with the dominatrix
or whether they're gay and they come

374
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,660
into a scene with a guy, that for a few
hours a week, they get to be out of

375
00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:19,130
control. faithfully and have a good time
at it and then they can go back and be

376
00:26:19,130 --> 00:26:19,789
in control.

377
00:26:19,790 --> 00:26:24,910
What I look for in a top when I'm bottom
is someone who is able to keep me safe

378
00:26:24,910 --> 00:26:29,530
and give me a safe place in which to
release and it's something that I as a

379
00:26:29,530 --> 00:26:36,350
feel very honored by being allowed to do
for a bottom is to give them a safe

380
00:26:36,350 --> 00:26:40,990
place to do a catharsis and to give them
the path to walk down to get to that

381
00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:43,190
catharsis. I love power play because

382
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:50,500
From a topping aspect, it makes you feel
incredibly confident to know that you

383
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:56,420
can take somebody and they can give you
all of their trust to do anything with

384
00:26:56,420 --> 00:27:03,420
them, even go beyond something that
probably is in a normal range of

385
00:27:03,420 --> 00:27:04,420
thought safe.

386
00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:05,740
I like to scare people.

387
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,580
My biggest thing is losing the control
aspect, because I've always been in

388
00:27:09,580 --> 00:27:14,480
control of everything that has to do
with my life, and it's kind of like...

389
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:19,180
forte is role -playing. Role -playing
scenes where it involves authority.

390
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:26,480
It could be any kind of uniformed
officer, person, anything where

391
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,620
there's authority involved.

392
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,600
I can be top, bottom, master,

393
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:33,800
daddy boy.

394
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:40,440
I enjoy all the different directions.
There's something to be gained from each

395
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,440
position.

396
00:27:43,490 --> 00:27:50,370
domination and submission in role play,
the more you understand that really

397
00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:52,550
there's giving and sharing both ways.

398
00:27:53,170 --> 00:27:58,010
And, you know, the person who's in the
top role, the dominant role, is very

399
00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:00,910
much, you know, giving to the person in
the submissive role.

400
00:28:01,130 --> 00:28:06,770
I do enjoy playing with an overt age
play dynamic in which one person acts

401
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:08,670
a grown -up and another person acts like
a child.

402
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:13,270
That's the only thing I don't switch in.
I only bought them to age play.

403
00:28:13,470 --> 00:28:18,630
I cannot seem to, I think because
parenting is so recently in my own past,

404
00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:22,710
can't eroticize being a parent, but I
can eroticize being a child. Older men

405
00:28:22,710 --> 00:28:28,950
were actually a sought -after commodity,
if

406
00:28:28,950 --> 00:28:33,350
they're in decent shape, I guess a
little bit at least, as daddies.

407
00:28:33,830 --> 00:28:37,670
And there's lots of younger guys, boys
who...

408
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,500
You want that emotional connection,
physical connection to a daddy. When I

409
00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:43,520
young man, I was a boy.

410
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:47,780
Now that I'm an older man, I play a
daddy, a sir.

411
00:28:49,659 --> 00:28:50,659
More dominant.

412
00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:57,380
I do more bottoming or submissive stuff,
although I do do the other mode

413
00:28:57,380 --> 00:28:58,380
as well.

414
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:04,180
But I'd like to enjoy the other setting
a little bit more.

415
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,800
It's just like acting.

416
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:11,060
You each sort of take a role, and the
more you play that role and the more

417
00:29:11,060 --> 00:29:13,460
you stay to that role, the more it
intensifies the scene.

418
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,900
They dressed me up, and they wanted me
to play a dog.

419
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,660
They wanted me to be a male dog.

420
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:24,300
and act the part. They put food out on
the floor for me. I wasn't allowed in

421
00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:25,300
of the furniture.

422
00:29:26,060 --> 00:29:32,620
And then she was determined to break my
ass in. I was a virgin at that point.

423
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,840
And she didn't take no for an answer.

424
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:43,480
They had a scene with me where I was
supposed to deep throat her dildo while

425
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,120
her partner was bull whipping me.

426
00:29:46,629 --> 00:29:50,310
And I remember I started screaming and
she said, shut up.

427
00:29:50,850 --> 00:29:56,290
Only make a sound if you're choking, not
if you're screaming and you're in pain.

428
00:29:56,890 --> 00:29:59,790
I realized

429
00:29:59,790 --> 00:30:06,510
I was bigender when I was little. I

430
00:30:06,510 --> 00:30:11,270
kind of knew I was in the wrong body. My
parents put me in therapy about my

431
00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:13,190
sexuality at a young age.

432
00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:17,960
I started taking hormones now about
almost three years ago.

433
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:23,120
I've not had chest surgery, working on
it, and don't ever plan on having

434
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:27,620
surgery. I started off thinking I was
just going to be a big fag, because it's

435
00:30:27,620 --> 00:30:30,900
always what I've wanted to be, and
always what I thought I was, and I'm

436
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:33,520
up figuring out I'm actually very
bigendered and very bisexual.

437
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:38,240
I like both men and women, and always
have. I mean, I've dated men and women

438
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,760
a dick, I fuck fags, and now as a fag,
I...

439
00:30:41,550 --> 00:30:42,289
Fuck, thanks.

440
00:30:42,290 --> 00:30:47,490
Sometimes I get to play with these big
muscle guys, right, these gym boys that

441
00:30:47,490 --> 00:30:50,710
look up to because I don't work out. You
know, I'm 54.

442
00:30:51,030 --> 00:30:55,450
I'm in okay shape, but I'm certainly not
looking like that.

443
00:30:55,690 --> 00:30:59,190
So they kind of intimidate me, you know,
with this incredible look.

444
00:30:59,590 --> 00:31:05,330
And these great big guys, they just want
me to take them down and top them and

445
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:06,510
do whatever I want to.

446
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:11,860
And to me, I was just like, what a turn
on you. Give me your body. Give me your

447
00:31:11,860 --> 00:31:18,500
mind. This one guy, a little college
professor, he's like 5 '2", called me

448
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:24,080
and I remember going there at 4 in the
morning and walked through the door,

449
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:30,300
shoved him down on the floor, and all he
wanted me to do was to kick him,

450
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:34,660
kick him and stomp his nuts with my high
-heeled boot.

451
00:31:35,370 --> 00:31:40,090
and I stuck the heel of my boot up his
ass, made him clean it, everything.

452
00:31:40,890 --> 00:31:41,890
It's very interesting.

453
00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:49,090
I got the opportunity to pop a group of
bodybuilders that were all like 240

454
00:31:49,090 --> 00:31:53,690
pounds and very much larger than me, and
I was thinking, I got out of the room,

455
00:31:53,690 --> 00:31:55,090
they're all ready to play, and I'm
like...

456
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,240
How in the fuck am I going to be able
to, like, control these guys? Because

457
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,980
they're all so much bigger than me, they
can take me out really easy. And then I

458
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:06,140
forgot that, you know, I always have
some blades on me. So it's nice to be

459
00:32:06,140 --> 00:32:09,640
to pull out a knife and have a control
factor because people are going to do

460
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:10,900
what you say when you hold the knife up
to them.

461
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:14,520
Once you've played and handled knives
for a little bit, very safely, I'd say

462
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,180
best thing to do is just use it on your
own skin and find out what you can do

463
00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:19,180
with it.

464
00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:23,790
You can do a lot of stuff that doesn't
hurt you at all, but it's quite scary to

465
00:32:23,790 --> 00:32:27,390
people that have that fear of knives,
like people are afraid of snakes.

466
00:32:27,810 --> 00:32:30,830
It feels really great when a person's
blindfolded because they don't know why

467
00:32:30,830 --> 00:32:31,830
you're holding up the skin.

468
00:32:32,590 --> 00:32:36,110
They realize that there's a knife up
against the skin, but because there's

469
00:32:36,110 --> 00:32:38,030
different types of blades, you can get
different textures.

470
00:32:38,670 --> 00:32:42,910
Practice on yourself a little bit first.
Know how hard you can use any specific

471
00:32:42,910 --> 00:32:47,350
type of knife, how much pressure you
need to actually apply before breaking

472
00:32:47,350 --> 00:32:49,290
skin and then keep it extremely light.

473
00:32:49,970 --> 00:32:53,770
It's also because you're cutting the
skin, you're getting into blood play as

474
00:32:53,770 --> 00:32:55,910
well, which brings a whole other factor.

475
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:01,920
When you're playing any type of play
that involves piercing the skin at all,

476
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:05,840
you're now taking it into the level of a
medical surgical setting, which means

477
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,920
having a completely sterile field.

478
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:12,020
There are things that can be very
dangerous, but some people choose to do

479
00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:16,580
anyway. One thing that I'm a little
apprehensive about is breath control.

480
00:33:16,580 --> 00:33:22,900
where you're actually inhibited from
breathing, from taking in oxygen.

481
00:33:26,030 --> 00:33:31,070
And that's like a general fear that I
have, and it also happens to be kind of

482
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:33,430
borderline sex act.

483
00:33:35,670 --> 00:33:41,910
And to explore that, it's kind of a
fantasy. You mix the two, you get

484
00:33:41,910 --> 00:33:42,789
out of it.

485
00:33:42,790 --> 00:33:47,510
Breath control is my biggest thing,
probably. What type of breath control?

486
00:33:48,830 --> 00:33:50,990
My absolute favorite is plastic bags.

487
00:33:53,070 --> 00:33:54,310
I use this basically.

488
00:33:56,639 --> 00:34:00,880
It's very cool to share a breath with
somebody, like when you're kissing to

489
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:01,880
a breath back and forth.

490
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:06,340
It's also cool to see how long you can
both go or one of you can go while

491
00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:09,679
holding your breath, giving the person
control to be able to close off your

492
00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:15,060
airway. It is an incredible power
exchange because you're giving the

493
00:34:15,060 --> 00:34:18,800
opportunity to take away one of your
main, you know, things that you need.

494
00:34:19,230 --> 00:34:20,570
To live, which is your oxygen.

495
00:34:20,810 --> 00:34:24,750
As an animal, our natural instinct is to
try to procreate before we die.

496
00:34:24,870 --> 00:34:28,989
Everybody thinks we're going to die. So
when you are short of air like that and

497
00:34:28,989 --> 00:34:33,469
you're being choked or whatever, your
dick's going to get hard. Whether you

498
00:34:33,469 --> 00:34:35,550
think you like that stuff or not, it's
going to happen. It happens.

499
00:34:35,949 --> 00:34:37,610
It's like a physical reaction.

500
00:34:37,929 --> 00:34:38,929
Linear. Twisted.

501
00:34:54,719 --> 00:35:00,460
What is FNM about?

502
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:08,100
S andM refers to sadomasochism, and
usually in terms of how it's used, it's

503
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:11,920
referring to pain, either receiving it
or giving it.

504
00:35:12,220 --> 00:35:13,640
Yes, sir.

505
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:19,060
It has nothing to do with harming
somebody out of hatred or...

506
00:35:20,580 --> 00:35:24,200
judgment at all. It's about play. It's
about doing these things to heighten

507
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:28,580
sexuality, sexuality and mentality and
most of your sex is going on in your

508
00:35:28,580 --> 00:35:33,300
brain. So bringing these things into the
realm of sex is truly fucking with

509
00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:35,740
somebody's head. You're fucking with
their mind.

510
00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:41,180
There is something to be said for the
joy of hurting someone else.

511
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:44,640
if that's what it is that they want.

512
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,480
The barriers come down with it between
people during intense consensual pain.

513
00:35:49,660 --> 00:35:53,360
It's like all the safeguards that you
put on yourself to be yourself in the

514
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,700
world, you can't do those anymore.
You're too focused on what's happening

515
00:35:56,700 --> 00:36:00,300
your body and they all go away in much
the same way that they go away during a

516
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:04,280
strong orgasm. You're just, you have no
arm ring, you have no shell.

517
00:36:04,540 --> 00:36:05,540
It's all there.

518
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:13,980
You can truly make love to somebody in
everything that that means, the

519
00:36:14,340 --> 00:36:19,020
the sweetness, the gentleness, the
power, the control, the surrender, the

520
00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:25,380
You can use all those elements and
include bondage and S andM and pain and

521
00:36:25,380 --> 00:36:28,980
stimulation as part of it, and it just
intensifies it.

522
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:34,860
You don't do anything to the submissive
or the bottom's body beyond their

523
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,820
ability to self -heal. There might be
bruises or there might be welts or

524
00:36:38,820 --> 00:36:42,700
something, but you're not going to see
large, gaping lacerations. You're not

525
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:46,680
going to see fractures, and you're
certainly not going to see dead bodies.

526
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,100
I've never been hurt by anything.

527
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:55,320
For me, part of it's related to the rush
of pain. So when you whip on me and

528
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,540
welt at my back and...

529
00:36:58,510 --> 00:37:02,510
And then it stops. It gets really
intense and it peaks and it stops.

530
00:37:02,870 --> 00:37:08,230
And then the next thing I feel is the
tickles of his chest hair on my back. He

531
00:37:08,230 --> 00:37:12,810
puts his arms around me, you know, and I
love you, boy. You know, I'm right here

532
00:37:12,810 --> 00:37:13,950
with you. Daddy's here.

533
00:37:14,350 --> 00:37:15,350
I love zippers.

534
00:37:15,770 --> 00:37:22,530
Zippers are basically a leather thong
with clothespins that are tied off

535
00:37:22,530 --> 00:37:24,510
usually at about two and a half inch
intervals.

536
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:29,160
And the zippers that I have are like 11
of those clothespins on another thong.

537
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:35,080
And I can take those clothespins and pin
them in a row down somebody's skin and

538
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,880
leave it on for several minutes and 20.

539
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:43,000
And then at some point, I take one end
of the thong and I rip it off.

540
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:45,960
And it rips all the clothespins off at
once.

541
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:47,700
This is incredibly intense.

542
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,220
and causes a lot of pain.

543
00:37:50,540 --> 00:37:52,560
One of my fetishes, of course, is
spanking buttocks.

544
00:37:52,860 --> 00:37:57,020
The buttocks is divided up, what we
call, into four quadrants. One, two,

545
00:37:57,100 --> 00:38:01,140
four. And the nerve endings on the
inside of the buttocks tend to be more

546
00:38:01,140 --> 00:38:02,140
sensitive.

547
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:07,200
If you're going to use your hand, for
example, the proper way to strike is you

548
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,960
want to have your hand slightly cupped
and you aim for a particular quadrant.

549
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:15,160
You want to almost aim heel first
because what we will show you with the

550
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:16,038
called wrapping.

551
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,300
So you take your hand.

552
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:18,940
And you cup this way.

553
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:25,420
That's quadrant one, two, on the
outside, three.

554
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,680
And then if I'm right -handed, I can try
to get in there. But generally what

555
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:34,480
I'll do on this side is I'll come in
with my left hand and snap this way.

556
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,500
is called the court.

557
00:38:35,860 --> 00:38:40,860
This is probably one of the most painful
implements that somebody can use.

558
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,500
My favorite toy in the entire world are
single tails.

559
00:38:45,580 --> 00:38:51,820
When the tail hits you, it's really hot,
and it just kind of sends this deep,

560
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,180
intense electricity deep inside your
body.

561
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,100
The sensation is incredible.

562
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:01,940
It's a lot more work and a lot more
effort and a lot more strain on the top

563
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:06,480
keep all of that flogging going than it
is for the bottom wall. You have to lie

564
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,480
there and take it.

565
00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:12,660
The tops are injured by having their
arms thrown out. The bottoms are ever

566
00:39:12,660 --> 00:39:14,100
injured by having their arms thrown out.

567
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:15,400
wealth on their backs.

568
00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:20,540
At the bottom, I enjoy floggers a lot.
At the top, I tend to go for canines.

569
00:39:20,940 --> 00:39:26,460
They're light, and a lot of times, the
people that I play with at the top are

570
00:39:26,460 --> 00:39:28,900
heavy masks, unlike along the scene.

571
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,820
When one is flogged, it's a totally
different sensation from being canned.

572
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,100
Canine is more of a stinging sensation.

573
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:39,740
It's more intense in the moment.

574
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:47,540
It hurts more. They leave a very unique
double -track mark. It looks like a

575
00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:53,260
railroad tracks with no lines between
that everybody recognizes. You can look

576
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:55,500
someone's butt and go, ooh, that cane
last night.

577
00:39:55,720 --> 00:40:00,420
You can start with something at this
level, you know, the California -style

578
00:40:00,420 --> 00:40:04,960
cane. You can just warm up skin with it
by tapping like this, or you can, I'm

579
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:09,240
reluctant to use this on my hand, you
can take it up to like that level, which

580
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,600
is, you know, it hurts a bit.

581
00:40:11,180 --> 00:40:16,160
but it's within most people's capacity
to deal with this at this level for a

582
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,140
while. And then later, you can hit hard.

583
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:26,700
I tend to like to focus the bulk of my
strokes on the lower part of

584
00:40:26,700 --> 00:40:31,300
the buttocks or the crack where the
buttocks meet the thighs because I think

585
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:36,460
that's what feels best to most people.
But then you try to spread some out down

586
00:40:36,460 --> 00:40:37,460
onto the thighs.

587
00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:41,730
If I've done a good caning, I will see
the concentration of the marks and the

588
00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:45,830
redness on, like, the bottom third of
the butt cheeks and maybe the top couple

589
00:40:45,830 --> 00:40:49,170
of inches of the thighs and a couple of
other strokes just to keep them guessing

590
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:51,070
a little bit outside that target range.

591
00:40:51,390 --> 00:40:55,750
The part that's going to hurt the most
and leave the deepest mark, if there's

592
00:40:55,750 --> 00:40:57,170
going to be a mark, is going to be the
tip.

593
00:40:57,770 --> 00:41:02,370
And so you have to get used to being
able to whip or cane from either side.

594
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:04,230
you know, a right hand in person.

595
00:41:04,990 --> 00:41:09,290
is going to cane this way, and their
bottom is going to go home with the far

596
00:41:09,290 --> 00:41:14,230
butt cheek all chewed up and nothing
happening at all on the near butt cheek,

597
00:41:14,310 --> 00:41:18,550
and it's kind of amateurish. I was
actually caning somebody on stage one

598
00:41:18,550 --> 00:41:23,470
and accidentally drew blood. Actually,
it wasn't accidentally. We had

599
00:41:23,470 --> 00:41:28,090
it, and the blood started kind of
getting all over the place, so I stopped

600
00:41:28,090 --> 00:41:29,510
dropped the cane and literally...

601
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,200
She smeared the blood all over her and
at the same time shredded the clothes

602
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,100
her on stage and just completely coated
her in her own blood.

603
00:41:36,380 --> 00:41:37,380
It's going to hurt.

604
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:44,420
These are three buckle handprints, and
they're really nice for bending people

605
00:41:44,420 --> 00:41:49,020
off the ground or at least anchoring
them, and it's relatively comfortable.

606
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:53,480
It's hard to bend people off the ground
and make it comfortable, but this works

607
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,440
really nice, especially for flogging.

608
00:41:59,930 --> 00:42:01,270
not gender -related.

609
00:42:01,530 --> 00:42:06,390
And I was having these wonderful
interactions with people of all sorts of

610
00:42:06,390 --> 00:42:09,230
orientations, and it didn't make any
difference.

611
00:42:09,850 --> 00:42:15,570
Heterosexuals don't play too roughly or
too intensely, like with physical pain.

612
00:42:16,010 --> 00:42:22,250
Gay men play more intensely, and lesbian
women are very much on the high end of,

613
00:42:22,370 --> 00:42:23,610
oh my God, what are you doing?

614
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:29,040
Almost anybody can learn to enjoy being
flogged at some level unless they have a

615
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:33,080
very visceral response to the whole idea
of being hit. The body has an

616
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:37,360
incredible ability to experience pain in
a different realm from what we have

617
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,380
been conditioned in our society to feel.

618
00:42:39,660 --> 00:42:44,000
I have a very high tolerance for pain,
so there's not much that bothers me

619
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:49,240
anymore. Flogging can feel like a
wonderful massage on the heavy muscles

620
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:53,280
back if you're using a flogger that's
got some weight and kind of a thuddy,

621
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,440
sensation to it. Or it can feel like
you're being scanned alive.

622
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:07,160
You slowly work it up from what is

623
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,160
a pleasant massage.

624
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:13,180
into intensity with just a thin edge of
pain.

625
00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:19,760
You kind of work up the edge of the pain
until it becomes so beautifully extreme

626
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:26,380
and you're so driven out of your body
that it becomes an

627
00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:27,380
ecstatic experience.

628
00:43:27,860 --> 00:43:34,500
If someone would have told me at one
time that I would long for the feel of a

629
00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,820
piece of leather strapping against my
back.

630
00:43:38,230 --> 00:43:39,550
I would have thought they were insane.

631
00:43:39,950 --> 00:43:43,830
The downside to floggers is that they
tend to be expensive, and they take a

632
00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:45,790
certain amount of practice to learn to
use well.

633
00:43:46,070 --> 00:43:48,990
The back is divided into four quadrants,
one, two, three, four.

634
00:43:49,230 --> 00:43:51,350
The area you want to avoid is the
kidneys.

635
00:43:52,390 --> 00:43:58,670
Up here is more of a massage zone, and
again, you would want to swing the crop

636
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:02,590
or the flogger, excuse me, back in this
direction across the middle of the back.

637
00:44:03,410 --> 00:44:08,000
One of the common mistakes when swinging
a flogger, is wrapping.

638
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:14,660
What happens is if you do not aim with
the bristles, the bristles now have to

639
00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:15,860
it on this side so you can see it.

640
00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:19,900
They'll wrap around the body.

641
00:44:20,260 --> 00:44:24,560
And what happens is as the front part of
the bristles hit the body this way,

642
00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:27,900
they accelerate around and it really
creates a...

643
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:33,040
Stinging sensation, you can actually
bruise, and it's really not good, and

644
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,320
don't want to do it, especially on the
sides. You're a lot more sensitive.

645
00:44:36,940 --> 00:44:41,780
So as for a beginner, I recommend using
this particular whip. It's a little

646
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:43,920
shorter. It's easier to aim, and you're
more accurate.

647
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:49,960
There are endorphin rushes. There are
people who enjoy playing the sensation

648
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,780
play just for the endorphin rushes that
they get.

649
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,180
It's a non -addictive, free, non
-illegal drug.

650
00:44:56,380 --> 00:44:58,820
The pain and pleasure centers are in the
same part of the brain.

651
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:05,440
So that whole feeling you get the
instant after you get that sharp pain,

652
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:09,680
the kind of cool -down phase. It just
kind of puts you in almost like a

653
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:10,820
state, which is great.

654
00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:14,120
I mean, it's almost like a drug. It's a
natural tie.

655
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:21,200
I was being bullwhipped one time, and I
was in a very aggressive mood. I wanted

656
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,080
someone to bring me down at that moment.

657
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,020
And so the whipping made sense in the
beginning, and it brought me down. It

658
00:45:27,020 --> 00:45:28,220
beating it out of me.

659
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:33,640
And then I reached that wall and I
crossed over. And at that point, I just

660
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:39,660
became one with everything that was
going on. I just kind of vaporized in

661
00:45:39,660 --> 00:45:45,520
room. It was the most narcotic feeling
I'd ever experienced in my life. Better

662
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:46,920
than any drug I'd ever taken.

663
00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:50,600
And better than anyone I could ever
imagine.

664
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,240
I once asked a boy, I was vlogging.

665
00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:57,260
He told me before the scene, don't
listen to anything I say. No matter what

666
00:45:57,260 --> 00:45:59,820
say, just keep doing it until you want
to stop.

667
00:46:00,180 --> 00:46:03,400
The vlogging was about, I think, 45
minutes into this.

668
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:08,320
He was just screaming, I mean, because
it's the buildup, and stopped.

669
00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:11,420
And then I said, I'm not going to stop.
He said, I don't care what I said

670
00:46:11,420 --> 00:46:13,600
before. Ignore that. I don't mean that
now.

671
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:15,960
I knew he was going to say that.

672
00:46:16,380 --> 00:46:18,680
I just kept doing it. He disappeared.

673
00:46:19,540 --> 00:46:20,800
He was just hanging there.

674
00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:22,100
And I kept...

675
00:46:22,410 --> 00:46:25,690
Fogging him for maybe just three or four
more hits. And there was no reaction

676
00:46:25,690 --> 00:46:28,570
physically from him. And what had
happened was he broke.

677
00:46:29,090 --> 00:46:31,950
And later he explained he went somewhere
else.

678
00:46:32,190 --> 00:46:36,810
He could hear me fogging him. He could
feel it. But it didn't hurt. His mind

679
00:46:36,810 --> 00:46:37,609
somewhere else.

680
00:46:37,610 --> 00:46:40,170
And that's what the experience he was
looking for.

681
00:46:40,510 --> 00:46:44,630
And if I had stopped before he broke
because he was telling me to stop, it

682
00:46:44,630 --> 00:46:45,630
wouldn't have happened.

683
00:46:45,850 --> 00:46:50,130
It's kind of an edgy area to play in.
But you've got to know the person before

684
00:46:50,130 --> 00:46:51,590
you do something like that.

685
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,120
And I said, where did you go?

686
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,760
And he said, I was a vegetable.

687
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:57,720
I was just a vegetable.

688
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,160
I could feel it. It didn't hurt.

689
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:04,380
I saw you. It was like I was floating
above you, watching you hit me.

690
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:09,200
It took him a few hours to come back. I
mean, he was there, but he was just like

691
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,260
so soft, so quiet, so mellow.

692
00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:18,140
Now, if you were on the outside of the
scene watching somebody else hit

693
00:47:18,140 --> 00:47:19,680
and seeing that,

694
00:47:20,380 --> 00:47:22,580
you would probably think this was
terrible.

695
00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:25,380
Nobody's just beating the shit out of
somebody. That hurts.

696
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:33,400
But if you understand what the dynamics
are between the two people and see the

697
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:38,980
results afterwards and know certainly
that it's mutual, I don't think the

698
00:47:38,980 --> 00:47:43,640
psychiatric profession gives us credit
for what the therapy that can be.

699
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:47,680
The first time I flew, I hadn't even
heard of flying, and that was years ago,

700
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,380
and I was being fogged by it
particularly.

701
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:57,190
talented top, who just kept on flogging
and have pushed and pushed.

702
00:47:57,450 --> 00:48:01,810
When I say that floggers aren't
necessarily as intense as kinks, I don't

703
00:48:01,810 --> 00:48:04,290
that it's not, that it's easy to take
them.

704
00:48:05,290 --> 00:48:06,810
It's just a different sensation.

705
00:48:07,110 --> 00:48:11,690
And I find that for me when I am pushed
to a point where I can't.

706
00:48:12,030 --> 00:48:16,790
take it anymore, and then I just accept
that pain, it pushes me to the next

707
00:48:16,790 --> 00:48:23,790
level. And if it continues on, I go
through a state of where I

708
00:48:23,790 --> 00:48:29,630
actually feel like my body is, my soul
is leaving my body, and it happens

709
00:48:29,630 --> 00:48:33,030
from to the right, out of my right
shoulder.

710
00:48:33,450 --> 00:48:39,130
And it's like every cliche you've ever
read about or heard, it's like walking

711
00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:40,130
into the white light.

712
00:48:40,910 --> 00:48:43,790
The time it happened, it just totally
freaked me out.

713
00:48:44,410 --> 00:48:48,390
I thought I was dying. And up until that
point, I had never saved what was

714
00:48:48,390 --> 00:48:49,390
sacred.

715
00:48:49,470 --> 00:48:54,730
And I remember going through this whole
mind trip, like going, oh, my God, this

716
00:48:54,730 --> 00:48:56,350
is so wonderful. It feels so great.

717
00:48:56,710 --> 00:48:58,810
And then going, well, what's happening
to me?

718
00:48:59,130 --> 00:49:03,610
And then going, this is what I've ever
read about dying. I must be dying.

719
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:05,600
And then going, I don't care.

720
00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:09,800
It feels too good. You don't want to
come back. You're afraid if you go any

721
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,400
further, you won't come back.

722
00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:14,280
And you don't know if you want to.

723
00:49:15,340 --> 00:49:19,440
You know, and you start really going
through your mind going, whoa, what is

724
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:24,720
going on here? You know, it's like I'm
not high. I'm totally okay with this.

725
00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:26,600
bottom or the boy or...

726
00:49:27,460 --> 00:49:32,480
The receiver is being tested. He's being
pushed. He's being pushed to his outer

727
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:33,880
limits, just that little bit more.

728
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:39,620
And so he gets that energy of knowing
that he's taking himself out to that

729
00:49:39,620 --> 00:49:44,040
limit, and he's also expanding himself
to a point, almost to the breaking

730
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:48,320
but he's surviving, he's making, and
he's accomplishing this thing, and he's

731
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:49,620
also experiencing something new.

732
00:49:50,350 --> 00:49:55,190
And then on the top, the master side,
he's got this person putting his life in

733
00:49:55,190 --> 00:50:00,610
his hands and saying, okay, I trust you,
you know, and so he can do that. But

734
00:50:00,610 --> 00:50:04,750
with that power comes this
responsibility, and a good top

735
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:06,410
says, that's enough.

736
00:50:07,350 --> 00:50:11,130
And he loves you and he respects you
because you did put that trust in his

737
00:50:11,130 --> 00:50:12,130
hands.

738
00:50:12,690 --> 00:50:18,530
And he pulls you back because, yeah,
anyone can let you go, you know.

739
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,540
The real responsibility comes with
bringing you back.

740
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,100
And that's, to me, it's tough.

741
00:50:24,580 --> 00:50:28,000
Pushing through a pile of papers is a
completely different experience when you

742
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,080
know you can take a good whippin', I'll
tell you that.

743
00:50:51,530 --> 00:50:55,370
I like nipple clamp a lot. The thing
about the nipples is that they're very,

744
00:50:55,450 --> 00:50:57,890
very, it's a very intense erogenous
zone.

745
00:50:58,230 --> 00:51:03,850
And you do get a huge endorphin rush
after you do it. And of course,

746
00:51:03,970 --> 00:51:07,290
tongue on them.

747
00:51:10,190 --> 00:51:12,150
When they do bite, I do feel that.

748
00:51:12,750 --> 00:51:13,950
Let me pull it off.

749
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:28,240
My ball weighted down, and I've had up
to 11 pounds

750
00:51:28,240 --> 00:51:31,840
drinking my ball for 10 minutes.

751
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:38,280
There's a little bit of pain in there,
but now it's more like it's stretching.

752
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,900
It's an interesting sensation.

753
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:47,780
I have a floor pulley system that one of
my submissives invented, which has the

754
00:51:47,780 --> 00:51:49,220
person spread eagle on the floor.

755
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:56,000
And I do rope bondage, making like a
body harness with the rope. All the

756
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:01,300
that connect to the wrists and the wrist
cuffs and the ankle cuffs, they all

757
00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:06,820
connect through pulleys to ropes that
come around the room and then merge

758
00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:08,420
in between the person's legs.

759
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:14,700
And they have clips on them, and you can
adjust them. And they hook right to the

760
00:52:14,700 --> 00:52:16,120
rope attached to the testicle.

761
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:20,460
So if the person is to move their arms
or legs, then they pull on their

762
00:52:20,460 --> 00:52:22,860
testicles. It's really fabulous.

763
00:52:23,860 --> 00:52:26,360
You know, they feel very helpless, and
it's exciting.

764
00:52:26,820 --> 00:52:33,780
I was suspended 100 feet above the floor
in an elevator shaft and had about 24

765
00:52:33,780 --> 00:52:37,560
pounds of weight hanging from my balls
and was flown around like a kite.

766
00:52:37,780 --> 00:52:41,740
This device is something that I made
myself.

767
00:52:42,180 --> 00:52:44,080
It's a cock and ball.

768
00:52:46,310 --> 00:52:50,850
It's really a cock and ball crusher.
There was nothing available commercially

769
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:57,590
that really worked, and I decided that I
would just make my own and something

770
00:52:57,590 --> 00:53:00,610
that did work and accomplish what I
wanted to do.

771
00:53:00,930 --> 00:53:04,710
Basically, what it does, it secures the
balls very tightly.

772
00:53:18,770 --> 00:53:22,930
They're really quite long, and I've been
able to take the whole thing. God knows

773
00:53:22,930 --> 00:53:23,808
where they go.

774
00:53:23,810 --> 00:53:25,330
It burns a little.

775
00:53:25,850 --> 00:53:27,210
It feels very full.

776
00:53:28,190 --> 00:53:30,630
You can grade up in size.

777
00:53:32,940 --> 00:53:39,420
of rod so that the thicker ones are
really kind of pushing on it. It's

778
00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:44,880
like having a dildo in your dickhead.
It's an outrageous feeling to have that

779
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,100
big tube shoved down your dickhead.

780
00:53:47,300 --> 00:53:53,300
When you come afterwards, because you've
been tenderized in there, it's really

781
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:59,680
very intense. It's slightly painful, but
exceedingly stimulating and erotic.

782
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:04,860
I am going to show you something that
I'm a little shy about doing, but my

783
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:07,880
genitalia has changed incredibly on T.

784
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:12,900
I used to have a very, very, like, half
-P -sized clit, and it was covered with

785
00:54:12,900 --> 00:54:13,900
a lot of hood.

786
00:54:14,140 --> 00:54:20,700
And now, when I pump, especially, it
enlarges like most men's penises do.

787
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,300
And actually, I use the same kind of
pump men do, the little San Francisco

788
00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:27,660
special. This is what it looks like
before I start pumping.

789
00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:30,020
It's already pretty large.

790
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:34,360
And since I don't have a penis, once I
get this pumped up and on, I'll detach

791
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:38,520
it, and I'll watch porno, and I'll
actually jack off with this. Kind of cut

792
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,900
the... the foot.

793
00:54:46,620 --> 00:54:48,020
So I'll get a good session.

794
00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:49,960
And then I just pump for a while.

795
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,120
And I play with it.

796
00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:57,360
And after a while, it gets kind of big.

797
00:54:58,300 --> 00:55:01,960
And I probably do this at least once or
twice a week because I keep trying to

798
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:02,960
encourage growth.

799
00:55:03,940 --> 00:55:10,280
It's a little pulley and kind of burny
sensation, but inside of

800
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:15,660
where more of the erectile tissue is, up
in here and over to the side, it's

801
00:55:15,660 --> 00:55:18,740
actually kind of exciting. It's almost
like somebody's just playing really hard

802
00:55:18,740 --> 00:55:19,740
with my clit.

803
00:55:20,100 --> 00:55:23,040
But this is kind of what it looks like
once it's pumped up.

804
00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:26,460
And that's what it looks like when I'm
getting head and...

805
00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:31,570
Getting fucked. So eventually it'll get
larger as I, you know, rub it down with

806
00:55:31,570 --> 00:55:32,790
tea and also pump it.

807
00:55:33,430 --> 00:55:37,930
Since I've been on testosterone, I tend
to ejaculate now, where I never had

808
00:55:37,930 --> 00:55:39,110
female ejaculation before.

809
00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:41,970
I actually ejaculate, and it's pretty
incredible.

810
00:55:42,670 --> 00:55:43,890
It's an incredible sensation.

811
00:55:44,810 --> 00:55:48,070
I always wondered what I was missing out
on all those years, and now I know, and

812
00:55:48,070 --> 00:55:49,070
it's a good thing.

813
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:03,460
I do temporary piercing.

814
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:10,220
It's a different kind of energy in a
scene than something like zippers or

815
00:56:10,220 --> 00:56:15,160
flogging or caning. It's concerned. It's
a lot quieter, more mellow, but not

816
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:16,420
necessarily less intense.

817
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,000
My first experience actually piercing
somebody was piercing somebody who had

818
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,700
this really amazingly thick skin, but
they were smooth.

819
00:56:41,540 --> 00:56:45,980
Piercing somebody really hairy is a
little bit of a challenge in and of

820
00:56:48,240 --> 00:56:55,120
It was hard to get the next needle to go
where you want it so that it matches in

821
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,660
line with the previous needle.

822
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:58,740
And that was real slow.

823
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,180
You like the needles, I can tell.

824
00:57:25,380 --> 00:57:32,260
I got the really sick and twisted idea
that with my friend who I had just put a

825
00:57:32,260 --> 00:57:34,080
Prince Albert piercing in his dick.

826
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:39,600
He was HIV positive as well, and we've
had bareback sex before.

827
00:57:40,220 --> 00:57:47,100
I used the blood from his newly pierced
dick as lube

828
00:57:47,100 --> 00:57:52,200
to fuck him with after I had just put
the jewelry in his dick.

829
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:59,300
I'm really looking forward to sometime
actually doing suspension by temporary

830
00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:01,740
hypodermic needle piercing

831
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,200
like 300 -pound test wire for fishing
for sturgeon.

832
00:58:09,740 --> 00:58:14,100
There's ergonomic points in your body
that you can place the piercings, tie

833
00:58:14,100 --> 00:58:20,780
knots with the fishing line, tie it to
either a

834
00:58:20,780 --> 00:58:26,620
scaffolding or eye bolt strategically
placed in the ceiling, and slowly let

835
00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:30,480
air out of the mattress that your
subject is laying on.

836
00:58:31,850 --> 00:58:36,390
only to discover for them that there was
a space of about eight inches below

837
00:58:36,390 --> 00:58:42,790
them, and they're only suspended by the
little piercings in their skin tied to

838
00:58:42,790 --> 00:58:43,790
strings.

839
00:58:43,910 --> 00:58:49,770
Valentine's Day at about 11 .30 at
night, and we had a mirror right here,

840
00:58:49,770 --> 00:58:51,970
put, he gave me my PA.

841
00:58:52,210 --> 00:58:54,850
It's my Valentine's Day present. I'm
really happy with it.

842
00:58:57,050 --> 00:58:59,790
Electricity used properly can be very
exciting and stimulating.

843
00:59:00,670 --> 00:59:04,330
These are little electro bands. We call
them blue bands because they're blue.

844
00:59:05,030 --> 00:59:11,290
And they will transmit the electricity
from this little box that I've got here.

845
00:59:12,750 --> 00:59:13,910
So you just wet them?

846
00:59:14,930 --> 00:59:15,930
Yeah.

847
00:59:16,150 --> 00:59:18,830
Positive, negative. It can go back and
forth between the two.

848
00:59:19,410 --> 00:59:20,990
Tell me when you're first feeling it.

849
00:59:23,010 --> 00:59:24,750
Booyah. Start to feel it already?

850
00:59:25,010 --> 00:59:27,630
Sort of like a...

851
00:59:28,220 --> 00:59:31,980
The sensation you get when you go numb,
like when your hands go numb and they

852
00:59:31,980 --> 00:59:34,000
start to really tingle, except it's
pulsing.

853
00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:39,700
And then it's speeding up and slowing
down, speeding up and slowing down.

854
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:41,900
I'm mostly feeling it in my cock.

855
00:59:42,260 --> 00:59:46,740
This little box, I've never been able to
bring it all the way up with anybody

856
00:59:46,740 --> 00:59:47,900
that I've ever played with.

857
00:59:48,220 --> 00:59:52,800
Some of the other boxes that are out
there are all nice boxes, but sometimes

858
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:53,800
run out of power.

859
00:59:54,509 --> 00:59:57,550
Usually about halfway up is what most
people can take.

860
01:00:04,930 --> 01:00:11,830
This little box has a lot of different

861
01:00:11,830 --> 01:00:17,510
features to it. I don't want to do a
commercial for the box, but it's got a

862
01:00:17,510 --> 01:00:20,270
microphone in it, so I can set it up to
just sit.

863
01:00:20,890 --> 01:00:25,250
The sound in the room causes the
electricity to change, and the slightest

864
01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:27,850
change makes a little bit of change in
the voice.

865
01:00:30,730 --> 01:00:33,510
Get out of there.

866
01:00:34,910 --> 01:00:36,390
Get it off your desk.

867
01:00:53,260 --> 01:00:55,060
all the different attachments to it.

868
01:00:55,320 --> 01:01:01,340
I like everything from, you know, doing
a hard massage with your hand to where

869
01:01:01,340 --> 01:01:04,920
you almost can't feel anything to doing
a soft one where your hand just kind of

870
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:10,780
turns electric to actually sparking,
like maybe sparking the nipples. I enjoy

871
01:01:10,780 --> 01:01:13,060
all aspects of the Violet Wand.

872
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,620
What is the Violet Wand?

873
01:01:15,140 --> 01:01:20,100
It's a large, looks like a light bulb,
and it's purple.

874
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:25,900
and it has all these kind of
Frankenstein rays that come out from it.

875
01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:30,560
basically is is a Tesla coil that runs a
current through this blue ball. It

876
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,000
creates an arc, kind of like a needle.

877
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:46,160
You're into this, aren't you?

878
01:01:58,420 --> 01:02:01,280
What's nice about a smaller thing is I
can get up into some tight places.

879
01:02:04,780 --> 01:02:05,860
Ooh, I can belt that.

880
01:02:06,180 --> 01:02:11,100
Well, the belt attachment, which now
makes me the conductor.

881
01:02:12,300 --> 01:02:14,080
This plugs in here like this.

882
01:02:15,580 --> 01:02:17,300
And I can fit this down here.

883
01:02:17,780 --> 01:02:19,980
And now you can hear it.

884
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:27,340
Now this almost feels like a vibrator.
You can hear it, you know, going through

885
01:02:27,340 --> 01:02:30,520
her chin. But if I tap my fingers, I
don't know if you can see it in the

886
01:02:30,540 --> 01:02:33,480
but it actually leaves like a little
spark.

887
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:35,500
I do enjoy working with fire.

888
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,940
I'm pretty good with fire.

889
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:40,640
I like fire a lot.

890
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:46,140
I kind of sat at the bar and a guy had a
glass of 151 and I kind of took it and

891
01:02:46,140 --> 01:02:51,520
rolled it down my arm and then set my
arm on fire. I like the reaction of

892
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:55,960
people. I'm not just playing with the
other person or with a toy, but the fire

893
01:02:55,960 --> 01:03:01,000
itself is actually another entity that
kind of has its own set of rules.

894
01:03:04,620 --> 01:03:08,940
You're taking something else out there
and you're kind of molding it or playing

895
01:03:08,940 --> 01:03:13,140
with it. And I mean molding or
manipulating it because we do, some of

896
01:03:13,140 --> 01:03:17,120
will do designs on somebody who will
play with fire on the skin and will run

897
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:22,080
trails of fire up their back or
whatever. And I can also control how

898
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:25,700
stays on the skin so I can control how
much they feel it.

899
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,920
I love using fire on the skin, doing
alcohol and doing fire on the skin, fire

900
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,220
like a knife, like a gun.

901
01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:35,710
You bring that into the scene and people
automatically are like, whoa, wait a

902
01:03:35,710 --> 01:03:37,890
minute. This is a bit nasty.

903
01:03:38,270 --> 01:03:42,710
I like eating a sweet butt and I like
playing with butt.

904
01:03:42,990 --> 01:03:49,270
I like opening up another man and giving
him that pleasure. I like feeling my

905
01:03:49,270 --> 01:03:55,130
own hand inside of his body and that
thrill knowing that I'm inside of him.

906
01:03:55,510 --> 01:04:00,070
Exploration of the anus is something
that it's really profoundly about.

907
01:04:00,620 --> 01:04:02,700
Breaking down the boundary between self
and the other.

908
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,040
Butts are funny things. The more you
give them, the more they want.

909
01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:09,520
I stick a baseball bat on my ass. I
really like fucking people with a strap

910
01:04:09,700 --> 01:04:14,240
I've actually put a speculum inside
somebody and opened them up and then

911
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:20,800
carefully taken a knife and slid it down
within the clamps of the speculum so it

912
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:24,580
was safe because the person's skin would
never have ever come in contact with

913
01:04:24,580 --> 01:04:25,259
the blade.

914
01:04:25,260 --> 01:04:27,720
But the visual of actually seeing...

915
01:04:28,110 --> 01:04:32,250
A knife entering somebody and coming
back out was pretty amazing. I've got a

916
01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:39,110
dildo called Mr. Ed. It was made from a
mold of a horse's dick. It's pretty

917
01:04:39,110 --> 01:04:42,730
great. I had this 12 -inch dildo about
an inch and a half diameter.

918
01:04:43,330 --> 01:04:47,650
I kept going in and out with it, and I
accidentally got it stuck.

919
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:52,470
I actually pushed it in too far. All in
all, this 12 -inch dildo...

920
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:57,140
Is worth a hundred bucks an inch. It
cost me like $1 ,200 to get this stupid

921
01:04:57,140 --> 01:05:02,620
thing out. On occasions, I've just done
a whole night of just toys with a friend

922
01:05:02,620 --> 01:05:08,750
that... That's what he's into too, and
we can just keep trading toys back and

923
01:05:08,750 --> 01:05:12,470
forth, sometimes both sitting on the
same toy, etc.

924
01:05:12,810 --> 01:05:14,030
And that can be fun.

925
01:05:14,350 --> 01:05:15,530
What are your favorite toys?

926
01:05:16,130 --> 01:05:19,810
Acrylic toys that you can see inside and
mount cameras in and do light shows

927
01:05:19,810 --> 01:05:22,050
inside and project that onto a wall.

928
01:05:22,370 --> 01:05:29,350
A glass plug is about that long. It
looks like a regular latex butt plug,

929
01:05:29,350 --> 01:05:30,350
a little bit smaller.

930
01:05:31,610 --> 01:05:38,230
I've seen it actually in a few porn
films, and it has two electrodes

931
01:05:38,230 --> 01:05:43,070
the end, and it gets inserted in your
butt, and then there's a box about this

932
01:05:43,070 --> 01:05:48,950
big with a dial on it, and the top just
turns that and keeps turning it, or you

933
01:05:48,950 --> 01:05:49,950
can do it yourself.

934
01:05:50,670 --> 01:05:56,890
And it feels like pins and needles at
first, but depending on what setting you

935
01:05:56,890 --> 01:05:57,890
put it at,

936
01:05:58,510 --> 01:06:03,490
It can feel like an actual pulsing
movement, which is totally an electrical

937
01:06:03,490 --> 01:06:08,550
charge going into your butt, and your
nerves are responding in a way that it

938
01:06:08,550 --> 01:06:12,910
feels like you've actually got a dildo
in there pushing in and out. And it's

939
01:06:12,910 --> 01:06:16,150
very exciting when you realize that this
is all electrical.

940
01:06:16,490 --> 01:06:17,910
Are you ready for fist bumping?

941
01:06:23,650 --> 01:06:27,370
Red is the color for handball and or
fisting.

942
01:06:32,259 --> 01:06:34,980
I get fisted and do the business.

943
01:06:35,340 --> 01:06:39,560
I fist both anally and vaginally, and I
fist with these nails.

944
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:45,060
I haven't gotten fisted yet, but I'd
like to.

945
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,600
I've taken, I guess, up to about there.

946
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:49,480
Do you think that anybody could be a
fisted?

947
01:06:49,740 --> 01:06:53,700
With the right amount of coaxing and the
right amount of foreplay.

948
01:06:54,430 --> 01:06:57,110
Yes. Somebody put their hand in me one
day and they liked it.

949
01:06:57,510 --> 01:07:00,190
One finger in a butt and a fist in a
butt is simply a matter of degree.

950
01:07:00,430 --> 01:07:03,330
One finger in a pussy, fist in a pussy
is a matter of degree.

951
01:07:03,530 --> 01:07:07,390
I tried for many years and I never
thought, I thought it was because I was

952
01:07:07,390 --> 01:07:11,830
small that it just wasn't going to
happen for me. And I'd come pretty

953
01:07:11,830 --> 01:07:17,730
to that. And somebody that I trusted and
I wanted to be with and wanted to be

954
01:07:17,730 --> 01:07:21,010
that close with, it just happened.

955
01:07:22,779 --> 01:07:29,680
After a lot of time, the minute it went
in, I

956
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:30,680
was okay with it.

957
01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:37,080
All these fears that I had just went
behind me. I was like, as a young man in

958
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:39,560
20s, crazy to find out what it was
about.

959
01:07:39,860 --> 01:07:44,080
And I spent a good six weeks with a
particular guy every few nights I'd go

960
01:07:44,220 --> 01:07:48,660
and eventually he got in me. I just kept
buying bigger and fatter toys and

961
01:07:48,660 --> 01:07:49,900
fitting on them, watching videos.

962
01:07:51,089 --> 01:07:56,850
And once I arrived at a certain
thickness that I could comfortably take,

963
01:07:56,850 --> 01:07:59,550
I could take a fist. And within a week,
I had.

964
01:08:00,090 --> 01:08:01,610
Gage's hands are exceptionally big.

965
01:08:02,490 --> 01:08:07,210
He's been able to fist me before
testosterone kind of did things to his

966
01:08:07,650 --> 01:08:14,290
And they got a lot wider is what it is.
And I'm pretty accommodating, but not

967
01:08:14,290 --> 01:08:17,189
anymore. So what we're doing is we're
doing things to...

968
01:08:17,770 --> 01:08:19,770
Stretch me up so that I can be
accommodating again.

969
01:08:20,090 --> 01:08:23,590
Not the inside, especially the opening.
Yeah. My hands have gotten large enough.

970
01:08:23,630 --> 01:08:24,670
She's got plenty of room inside.

971
01:08:24,950 --> 01:08:29,569
It's getting past the opening with her
because she feels like once I get to a

972
01:08:29,569 --> 01:08:33,930
certain part, she's tearing because my
hands have gotten that much larger. But

973
01:08:33,930 --> 01:08:34,930
she's got plenty of room inside.

974
01:08:35,450 --> 01:08:39,069
Are we talking about vaginal fisting?
Yeah, vaginal. Okay.

975
01:08:39,970 --> 01:08:40,970
Yeah.

976
01:08:41,990 --> 01:08:44,109
That is the center of my... And the
balloon is the...

977
01:08:45,650 --> 01:08:51,910
It's the pump off of a blood pressure
cup, the little bulb, affixed to medical

978
01:08:51,910 --> 01:08:57,910
tubing, affixed to an industrial, like,
triple -thick type of latex balloon.

979
01:08:58,210 --> 01:09:01,890
So it gets actually huge. It's one of
these balloons that you can blow up with

980
01:09:01,890 --> 01:09:05,790
helium that are just humongous. But when
you use it, it's just the right size

981
01:09:05,790 --> 01:09:09,830
that when you put it in, if you put it
in only halfway, you can stretch. I used

982
01:09:09,830 --> 01:09:11,649
to use it to stretch my ass.

983
01:09:12,300 --> 01:09:17,319
So I could get bigger stuff into my
butt. If you believe that it's

984
01:09:17,319 --> 01:09:21,520
for you to get fisted, it will be
impossible for you to get fisted.

985
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:25,200
The first thing a person would have to
do who wants to explore fisting or even

986
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:29,939
much less anal penetration, they'd have
to know to cut and file their nails. The

987
01:09:29,939 --> 01:09:34,060
nails that I have right now are actually
too long to do any sort of anal fisting

988
01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:34,759
or play.

989
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:39,279
A day or two before I know that I'm
going to do some heavy playing, and in

990
01:09:39,279 --> 01:09:43,439
particular case I want to make sure I'm
really prepared for it, I start eating

991
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:46,920
lighter and lighter. And there are
certain things in your diet you stop

992
01:09:47,279 --> 01:09:50,680
Things like corn, certain grains,
certain nuts.

993
01:09:52,719 --> 01:09:57,420
Your body doesn't process them very
easily and very quickly, and so it's

994
01:09:57,420 --> 01:10:01,240
difficult to get yourself cleaned out
for that. Then basically I use a douche

995
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:06,380
hose, and it takes me about an hour or
two to do it. I don't play with anybody

996
01:10:06,380 --> 01:10:08,140
that isn't clean.

997
01:10:08,380 --> 01:10:10,680
And if they get dirty, then they go off
the house.

998
01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:14,780
You excuse it, and you let them go take
care of it, and you come back. You would

999
01:10:14,780 --> 01:10:18,120
certainly need lubricant, a lot of it,
and then you would start.

1000
01:10:18,860 --> 01:10:22,020
Unless the person was very experienced
and greedy, you would start with one

1001
01:10:22,020 --> 01:10:23,020
finger, simply one.

1002
01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:27,620
And as long as it took to get the finger
into the anus, you would spend that

1003
01:10:27,620 --> 01:10:32,200
much time. This is not really quickie
sex for most people, although, again, if

1004
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:35,880
someone's experienced and very greedy,
they can go faster than others.

1005
01:10:36,260 --> 01:10:40,600
And you would touch around the anus. If
you imagine that this is an anus, it

1006
01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:43,260
looks a little bit like one, not enough.

1007
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:45,280
You'd touch all around.

1008
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:50,380
You'd begin to smooth in and give a
little bit of pressure, but not a lot of

1009
01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:52,660
poking. Poking is not the way to go.

1010
01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:58,700
Instead, if the person bears down a
little bit, breathes out, bears down,

1011
01:10:58,700 --> 01:11:00,980
just sort of slide your finger in like
that, rock it in.

1012
01:11:01,260 --> 01:11:04,940
And then the anus has actually put
itself onto the finger, and you can

1013
01:11:04,940 --> 01:11:10,300
move in more quickly or slowly,
depending on the person. And once you've

1014
01:11:10,300 --> 01:11:12,480
finger in, it's a matter of sort of...

1015
01:11:12,860 --> 01:11:16,580
Touching and moving and stimulating from
the inside, stretching out a little

1016
01:11:16,580 --> 01:11:20,760
bit, not forcibly, but as the person is
willing and able to stretch.

1017
01:11:21,140 --> 01:11:25,200
Generally insisting the idea to get past
this, which is the internal and

1018
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,460
external anal sphincter.

1019
01:11:26,940 --> 01:11:30,900
The external anal sphincter is made of
skeletal muscle. Anyone can relax.

1020
01:11:31,210 --> 01:11:35,390
the external anal sphincter. The
internal anal sphincter is made of

1021
01:11:35,390 --> 01:11:39,810
muscle, and you have to be relaxed
enough in order to relax the internal

1022
01:11:39,810 --> 01:11:44,430
sphincter. It's not necessarily under
voluntary command, and oftentimes it's

1023
01:11:44,430 --> 01:11:49,170
internal anal sphincter that gets
damaged if the fisting is done too

1024
01:11:49,250 --> 01:11:53,630
that the bottom doesn't have time to
accommodate the stretch of the fist.

1025
01:11:53,890 --> 01:11:59,350
People are worried about damaging their
buttholes, for example, you know, like

1026
01:11:59,350 --> 01:12:00,350
ripping it open.

1027
01:12:00,490 --> 01:12:05,150
freaking it out too far, worried about
incontinence and such other issues,

1028
01:12:05,150 --> 01:12:09,310
are, as far as I'm concerned,
essentially nonsense. I've never met an

1029
01:12:09,310 --> 01:12:14,390
incontinent fister. I know a couple in
their 70s that are still doing it, and

1030
01:12:14,390 --> 01:12:19,390
they're fine, and the key there being
it's smooth muscle. And, for example, if

1031
01:12:19,390 --> 01:12:22,130
you have a proctoscope, you'll get
opened up like this.

1032
01:12:22,570 --> 01:12:27,030
And that's not something that generally
happens, except to the most of...

1033
01:12:28,380 --> 01:12:30,000
the more extreme of our practitioners.

1034
01:12:30,340 --> 01:12:32,380
Open your mind and your ass will follow.

1035
01:12:32,980 --> 01:12:38,160
I think fisting is really the most
intense interpersonal relationship that

1036
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,380
can have with another man, both giving
and getting.

1037
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:47,220
Vaginal fisting is really intense, and
even when we were trying and it wasn't

1038
01:12:47,220 --> 01:12:52,020
successful, it was still something
really amazing, and the connection and

1039
01:12:52,020 --> 01:12:53,880
energy that was involved in it.

1040
01:12:54,620 --> 01:12:57,400
It's completely different than anything
else I've experienced.

1041
01:12:57,860 --> 01:13:00,740
It's practiced by a wide variety of
people, not just in the leather

1042
01:13:00,740 --> 01:13:04,020
have lots of patients that are into
fisting. They've actually come in and

1043
01:13:04,020 --> 01:13:07,160
me pictures of their fisting scene. So,
you know, I know it can be done, and

1044
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:08,260
they do it in a very safe way.

1045
01:13:08,540 --> 01:13:10,620
There is life on other planets, and
they're watching.

1046
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:13,800
What must they be thinking if they saw
this?

1047
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:19,240
It just looks odd, you know? It's this
appendage going inside of a...

1048
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,040
Of a person's asshole.

1049
01:13:21,420 --> 01:13:24,680
One finger, two finger, three finger.
This is pretty cool.

1050
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:28,940
Hey, you know, then this happens. Wow,
this is pretty awesome. All of a sudden,

1051
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:30,720
it pulled me in.

1052
01:13:34,540 --> 01:13:35,960
God, God.

1053
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:37,880
Oh,

1054
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:41,600
oh, oh, wow.

1055
01:13:43,060 --> 01:13:45,280
Why doesn't everybody?

1056
01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:48,100
do this. It is so incredible.

1057
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:55,460
The difference between fucking and

1058
01:13:55,460 --> 01:14:01,280
fisting is that when you're fucking
someone, then all you're doing is trying

1059
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:02,280
get pleasure for yourself.

1060
01:14:02,560 --> 01:14:07,400
You really are. And this is what I think
is probably true in 90 % of the guys

1061
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:08,339
that I know.

1062
01:14:08,340 --> 01:14:10,540
They're simply trying to get pleasure
for themselves.

1063
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:13,840
But when you're fisting, there's a
connection there.

1064
01:14:14,300 --> 01:14:20,220
And the guy who's on top is really doing
everything he can to pleasure the guy

1065
01:14:20,220 --> 01:14:21,220
that's on the bottom.

1066
01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:23,660
Why would somebody want to stick a fist
up their ass?

1067
01:14:23,880 --> 01:14:30,800
That's not that. That's like going to
heaven. If you've never experienced

1068
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:36,780
it, you can't really explain it to
somebody who hasn't experienced it. But

1069
01:14:36,780 --> 01:14:39,960
definitely transcendental attention to
another kind of reality.

1070
01:14:41,210 --> 01:14:42,510
And it's amazing.

1071
01:14:42,870 --> 01:14:48,730
I don't understand the excitement over
it, but I guess it's the power and the

1072
01:14:48,730 --> 01:14:52,450
overtaking of someone and someone being
able to do something so extreme.

1073
01:14:52,990 --> 01:14:56,710
A million guys don't take this up their
ass because it ain't pleasurable. You've

1074
01:14:56,710 --> 01:14:59,650
got to understand, all these people are
doing this because there's something

1075
01:14:59,650 --> 01:15:05,630
there. I think I experienced an
endorphin high once. It was like a mind

1076
01:15:05,630 --> 01:15:09,770
orgasm. Literally, it felt like I had an
orgasm.

1077
01:15:10,730 --> 01:15:13,370
I was stroking my dick while I was being
fisted.

1078
01:15:13,850 --> 01:15:20,830
And when I actually had the orgasm, I
felt

1079
01:15:20,830 --> 01:15:24,850
like every molecule in my brain had just
shattered.

1080
01:15:25,110 --> 01:15:30,050
It's earth shattering. It is a complete,
physical, total orgasm from the very

1081
01:15:30,050 --> 01:15:34,130
top of your hair to the end of your last
toenail. Your body rocks.

1082
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:35,800
With waves.

1083
01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:39,340
Pleasure. For most people, just the
sheer challenge of getting the fist past

1084
01:15:39,340 --> 01:15:43,700
anal sphincters is part of the pleasure.
For other people, it's how far they can

1085
01:15:43,700 --> 01:15:48,040
get. People brag about getting to the
elbow or getting to the shoulder.

1086
01:15:48,660 --> 01:15:49,820
Oh, fuck.

1087
01:15:50,480 --> 01:15:54,100
What the hell does the guy who's
sticking his fist up the other guy's ass

1088
01:15:54,100 --> 01:15:55,220
from it?

1089
01:15:55,620 --> 01:16:00,160
Once you're in, it's like a different
world.

1090
01:16:00,440 --> 01:16:01,880
It's hot. It's soft.

1091
01:16:02,590 --> 01:16:04,090
It's incredibly vulnerable.

1092
01:16:05,030 --> 01:16:11,090
There's an artery that goes from the
heart right down past along the side of

1093
01:16:11,090 --> 01:16:12,410
rectum, and you can feel the heartbeat.

1094
01:16:12,710 --> 01:16:14,090
It's extraordinarily intimate.

1095
01:16:14,510 --> 01:16:20,490
I find it to be the most intimate,
passionate, giving,

1096
01:16:20,790 --> 01:16:27,710
pleasurable, trusting thing

1097
01:16:27,710 --> 01:16:29,510
you could possibly do with another human
being.

1098
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:35,340
The feeling of being inside someone is
sort of indescribable. It's like the

1099
01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:40,480
softest silk you could possibly feel
wrapped around your arm.

1100
01:16:40,740 --> 01:16:47,580
I like giving it, yeah. Yeah, I like the
domination aspect of anything.

1101
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:53,080
It's just an amazing feeling of power to
have your hand up inside somebody's

1102
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:56,480
butt. I've been topping for about a year
and a half.

1103
01:16:57,550 --> 01:17:00,070
They were having so much fun, I thought
I'd find out why.

1104
01:17:02,530 --> 01:17:03,990
I found out why.

1105
01:17:05,170 --> 01:17:08,470
There's always this, oh my God, we're
losing all our tops because they've just

1106
01:17:08,470 --> 01:17:10,130
gotten their cherries opened.

1107
01:17:10,830 --> 01:17:16,010
But I really get rock hard by topping. I
really get hard playing in a guy's ass.

1108
01:17:16,210 --> 01:17:19,630
When I do vaginal fisting, I'll
sometimes come while I'm fisting the

1109
01:17:19,630 --> 01:17:23,670
in spite of having no genital
stimulation of my own.

1110
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:25,690
When the bottom...

1111
01:17:26,440 --> 01:17:31,340
starts to move on his own and acquire
his own orgasm and find his own pleasure

1112
01:17:31,340 --> 01:17:35,460
on your arm and you find the pattern and
you find the rhythm and you go with it

1113
01:17:35,460 --> 01:17:39,040
and you take him from a point of
uncontrollable orgasm.

1114
01:17:39,700 --> 01:17:43,940
There can't be anything higher than
that. I have, you know, come without

1115
01:17:43,940 --> 01:17:45,760
touching myself from topping someone.

1116
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:49,220
I feel that my soul is touching the
other person's soul.

1117
01:17:54,830 --> 01:17:56,970
I like to be the top in water sports.

1118
01:17:58,470 --> 01:17:59,870
I like pissing on guys.

1119
01:18:00,110 --> 01:18:02,650
I like getting pissed off, like drinking
piss.

1120
01:18:02,850 --> 01:18:06,690
The only thing I'm not real fond of is
someone pissing on my ass.

1121
01:18:06,890 --> 01:18:09,050
Yeah, yeah, you feel my piss in you?
Yeah.

1122
01:18:09,390 --> 01:18:15,390
I love wearing piss out of anyone. The
aspect that I like the most about it is

1123
01:18:15,390 --> 01:18:18,950
defying the person who's doing it to you
by enjoying it.

1124
01:18:19,330 --> 01:18:21,210
I followed a leather man home one night.

1125
01:18:22,220 --> 01:18:24,520
And he put me in his bathtub and pissed
on me.

1126
01:18:25,100 --> 01:18:29,140
When I'm giving head, nothing turns me
on more than to have somebody piss down

1127
01:18:29,140 --> 01:18:32,420
my throat or pee on me while we're,
like, having sex.

1128
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,180
Water sports is pretty safe.

1129
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:39,140
Medically, urine is considered a sterile
body fluid.

1130
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:43,220
Drinking urine would not be considered
bad in that it should not contain

1131
01:18:43,220 --> 01:18:47,520
bacteria. Extra water sports, perfectly
safe. There's not anything that you have

1132
01:18:47,520 --> 01:18:48,499
to worry about that.

1133
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:51,220
I found that urine therapy was fabulous.

1134
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:58,040
There's a lot more how -to material
today, and one of the things that

1135
01:18:58,040 --> 01:19:04,620
sexologists attribute that to, in fact,
is the HIV epidemic bringing more and

1136
01:19:04,620 --> 01:19:10,740
more different possible sexual options
onto safe and possibly safe sex lists.

1137
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:16,030
The brochures that began to be handed
out in around 1985 or 6... It included

1138
01:19:16,030 --> 01:19:18,630
things like fisting and golden showers.

1139
01:19:19,090 --> 01:19:23,450
And so the golden showers was probably
safe. You know, that sort of thing.

1140
01:19:23,810 --> 01:19:27,170
What a mainstreaming effect that must
have had on this play.

1141
01:19:27,990 --> 01:19:30,350
And I know it had that effect for me.

1142
01:19:30,570 --> 01:19:32,990
Not that I hadn't fantasized about it
ahead of time.

1143
01:19:33,290 --> 01:19:36,070
Yeah, go into the bathroom and just get
into the tub.

1144
01:19:36,350 --> 01:19:38,850
And, you know, that's all over you.

1145
01:19:39,410 --> 01:19:40,410
It's hot.

1146
01:19:40,510 --> 01:19:42,410
It had a smell to it. I don't know if it
smells.

1147
01:19:43,030 --> 01:19:44,250
It had the...

1148
01:20:01,340 --> 01:20:07,100
You have to know the quality of the
urine of the person.

1149
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:10,440
You know, if it's the person getting
their own urine, that's one thing, you

1150
01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:14,630
know? But is the person drinking
alcohol? Are they taking drugs? I mean,

1151
01:20:14,630 --> 01:20:19,910
the quality of the water coming from
that person? When it's good, it's a

1152
01:20:19,910 --> 01:20:23,370
bitter, a little salty, very warm.

1153
01:20:24,150 --> 01:20:28,870
Depending on how much beer or liquid
somebody's been drinking, it can be a

1154
01:20:28,870 --> 01:20:35,730
little more intense and funky than
otherwise. I like it when it's a little

1155
01:20:35,730 --> 01:20:37,650
more diluted. I love dicks.

1156
01:20:37,890 --> 01:20:40,710
I love everything that comes out of
dicks.

1157
01:20:40,970 --> 01:20:46,790
And it's just sort of reveling in a
guy's dick.

1158
01:20:47,070 --> 01:20:53,810
I was playing with somebody who, after
they beat me, we were in an area

1159
01:20:53,810 --> 01:20:57,070
where we had laid down a rubber sheet
because we were doing some blood sport

1160
01:20:57,070 --> 01:21:01,650
stuff. And I had, you know, little
openings in my skin, but not a lot. And

1161
01:21:01,650 --> 01:21:03,910
stood over me and peed on me.

1162
01:21:04,880 --> 01:21:07,700
And I'll tell you, it was the most
incredible sensation I've ever had.

1163
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:12,520
Some of my patients have said, well,
what if you are whipping your slave and

1164
01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:14,780
then you piss over your slave after the
end of the whipping scene?

1165
01:21:15,380 --> 01:21:19,740
That's fine, but you shouldn't leave it
on for too long. In the rule book, it

1166
01:21:19,740 --> 01:21:23,640
would be considered unsafe behavior
because I like to piss up a guy's butt

1167
01:21:23,640 --> 01:21:24,640
sometimes.

1168
01:21:25,140 --> 01:21:30,280
Some of my patients have showed me
videos where they show people pissing

1169
01:21:30,280 --> 01:21:34,680
catheter bags and then using that to
stick it in someone's ass and then

1170
01:21:34,680 --> 01:21:38,040
a fifth enema that way. That is about as
safe as you can get. One thing my ma

1171
01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:41,580
'am and I do is in the morning when we
shower, she pees on me. It's the most

1172
01:21:41,580 --> 01:21:45,480
incredible thing because it's a
wonderful way to wake up and be reminded

1173
01:21:45,480 --> 01:21:49,140
place in her world. If you want to bond
with someone, you know.

1174
01:21:49,630 --> 01:21:54,530
I seriously bond with them and feel at
one with them and have a kind of a

1175
01:21:54,890 --> 01:22:00,490
I just remembered, you know, you drink
their urine. It's a sort of a connection

1176
01:22:00,490 --> 01:22:07,070
with the other person, with bodily fluid
that is physically hot.

1177
01:22:09,090 --> 01:22:13,970
intellectually hot at the same time.
Fitting on somebody, you know, in its

1178
01:22:13,970 --> 01:22:19,810
truest form is an insult, but in the
realm of play between consensual

1179
01:22:20,130 --> 01:22:21,390
it can be very fun.

1180
01:22:21,730 --> 01:22:25,430
I used to say, there's no way in hell
anyone's ever going to piss on me.

1181
01:22:26,210 --> 01:22:28,530
I've never seen ever in this scene.

1182
01:22:29,150 --> 01:22:33,330
It's amazing how your boundaries change
over the years, you know, and where

1183
01:22:33,330 --> 01:22:36,250
you're willing to go, and where you're
willing to go for the right person.

1184
01:22:37,150 --> 01:22:40,410
Sort of like being little boys, just
goofing around.

1185
01:22:41,030 --> 01:22:43,550
Here we are, we're pissing on one
another.

1186
01:22:43,930 --> 01:22:45,810
Hop in a tub sometime and try it.

1187
01:22:47,550 --> 01:22:52,350
Scapped? No, I'm not into it. Anything
except that.

1188
01:22:52,570 --> 01:22:58,750
That is where someone would defecate on
someone's body or on someone's face.

1189
01:22:59,280 --> 01:23:00,560
I've had some experiences.

1190
01:23:00,940 --> 01:23:07,500
I was rimming this really hot guy, and
all of a sudden a little came out, and I

1191
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:11,260
knew it was going to come out, and I
actually, in my head, I wanted it.

1192
01:23:14,380 --> 01:23:19,620
Took it. You are now allowed to go, eww,
because most everyone does, including

1193
01:23:19,620 --> 01:23:24,460
myself. It was over in a flash, and I
was so hot, I shot without touching

1194
01:23:24,460 --> 01:23:28,340
myself, and so did he, and we both knew
what we were doing.

1195
01:23:28,580 --> 01:23:32,760
A drummer of a famous country band
wanted me to sit in his mouth.

1196
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:38,120
Had a beautiful wife that just left him,
gorgeous, like... You know what? Wonder

1197
01:23:38,120 --> 01:23:39,120
why?

1198
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:41,900
No, she was the one that got him into
it.

1199
01:23:42,520 --> 01:23:48,720
She started shitting in his mouth, and
he just, he wanted me to do it, and I'm

1200
01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:52,320
just squatting over him, and I'm going,
you know, and couldn't do it. He gave me

1201
01:23:52,320 --> 01:23:53,540
a nice tip for the effort, though.

1202
01:23:53,820 --> 01:23:54,820
Oh, yeah.

1203
01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:56,040
Oh, yeah.

1204
01:23:56,340 --> 01:24:01,420
As far as fantasy's concerned, I mean, I
can really get into it in my head,

1205
01:24:01,480 --> 01:24:07,060
fantasy -wise, but the reality is I just
can't do it, and I don't really know

1206
01:24:07,060 --> 01:24:10,160
why. For days afterwards, I was...

1207
01:24:12,170 --> 01:24:13,290
appalled at myself.

1208
01:24:13,870 --> 01:24:17,050
That had always been the line that I
drew.

1209
01:24:17,330 --> 01:24:22,590
And when I crossed over that line,
probably just the mere fact of crossing

1210
01:24:22,590 --> 01:24:29,010
it was at one time exciting and
abhorrent. It's our culture, you know,

1211
01:24:29,010 --> 01:24:35,630
I think that scat play is a difficult
and one of the last frontiers

1212
01:24:35,630 --> 01:24:36,650
for many people.

1213
01:24:37,370 --> 01:24:39,270
It's not something that...

1214
01:24:40,170 --> 01:24:41,630
Many people erotify.

1215
01:24:42,850 --> 01:24:45,670
To a lot of people, that kind of play is
humiliation play.

1216
01:24:45,930 --> 01:24:47,590
The only thing I've ever had to do is
shit.

1217
01:24:47,950 --> 01:24:50,410
Is to shit into a diaper that I was
wearing.

1218
01:24:51,270 --> 01:24:54,050
And have to wear that around for several
hours or something.

1219
01:24:54,450 --> 01:24:56,170
But I've never done anything else with
shit.

1220
01:24:57,030 --> 01:25:01,670
Mostly, it's humiliating when the
thoughts come up. But the smell, I can't

1221
01:25:01,670 --> 01:25:03,690
it. I can't get past that kind of thing.

1222
01:25:03,930 --> 01:25:07,630
In toilet training, right, where all of
a sudden this poop that was...

1223
01:25:08,120 --> 01:25:13,200
perfectly fine and okay to do in your
diapers, you start to learn that your

1224
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:18,120
is a bad thing and that it has to go
over there, right, in a certain place

1225
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:21,100
not near you because it's the bad part
of you.

1226
01:25:21,380 --> 01:25:24,380
I don't think I'll do it again. Maybe.

1227
01:25:25,140 --> 01:25:27,800
Can you talk openly about the things you
really like?

1228
01:25:28,240 --> 01:25:35,080
Fetishes are coming more into mainstream
now, so it's not so taboo

1229
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:39,020
anymore. I think a lot more people are
more open. with it now and can be

1230
01:25:39,020 --> 01:25:44,180
comfortable with their sexuality and how
kinky they want to be. I feel like we

1231
01:25:44,180 --> 01:25:47,560
really still are coming out of the dark
ages. One of the things that's changed,

1232
01:25:47,660 --> 01:25:53,680
especially in the last maybe 30 years,
is a kind of general interest in sex,

1233
01:25:53,820 --> 01:25:54,860
just for the sake of sex.

1234
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:59,000
The tens of thousands of people who
enjoy the same fantasies. The bed should

1235
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:00,000
a playground.

1236
01:26:00,720 --> 01:26:04,520
When you walk into your bedroom, you
should walk into a totally different

1237
01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:11,380
Sex is the greatest form of human
cement, and without it, relationships

1238
01:26:11,380 --> 01:26:12,380
fall apart.

1239
01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:18,260
Sexual satisfaction is such an important
part of our psyche, and in this society

1240
01:26:18,260 --> 01:26:22,880
with so much repression, it's considered
a negative by so many people, and yet

1241
01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:27,560
everybody is seeking that. Everybody
wants it. America is obsessed with sex.

1242
01:26:27,980 --> 01:26:30,480
There's always a border between what's
acceptable and unacceptable.

1243
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:31,900
That border has shifted.

1244
01:26:32,120 --> 01:26:37,400
Anything that is underground, you know,
eventually is going to catch on and

1245
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:38,860
become popular.

1246
01:26:40,860 --> 01:26:44,120
then the people who started it are just
going to start hating it and it's going

1247
01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:46,440
to turn into some really gross fashion
thing.

1248
01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:49,760
I think that's where it's headed now,
you know what I mean?

1249
01:26:50,480 --> 01:26:55,440
You go to bars and you go to clubs and
everybody's wearing leather, you know,

1250
01:26:55,500 --> 01:26:57,380
and that's not the way it used to be.

1251
01:26:57,980 --> 01:27:01,320
You know, basically all my leather is in
my closet because I just don't want to

1252
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:04,280
be associated with the hordes of people
that...

1253
01:27:04,890 --> 01:27:08,090
Go to the store and buy a harness and
think that they're into leather. Every

1254
01:27:08,090 --> 01:27:10,130
person is different. I don't care what
you say.

1255
01:27:10,370 --> 01:27:11,670
Every person is different.

1256
01:27:11,910 --> 01:27:17,490
Probably the number one misconception is
that S andM people were abused as

1257
01:27:17,490 --> 01:27:22,830
children. And they're acting out the
abuse in some way. There have been some

1258
01:27:22,830 --> 01:27:26,870
very good studies on this. The study by
Janet Mail, for example, that showed

1259
01:27:26,870 --> 01:27:32,170
that members of the S andM community have
no higher frequency of child abuse

1260
01:27:32,170 --> 01:27:33,170
than...

1261
01:27:33,880 --> 01:27:36,400
people who aren't members of the S andM
community.

1262
01:27:36,940 --> 01:27:41,720
I think what you're getting at is it's
very important to get out there and have

1263
01:27:41,720 --> 01:27:46,060
a more comprehensive understanding about
variable sexual options.

1264
01:27:46,540 --> 01:27:51,220
I hope part of the feeling that comes
out of whether it be this interview with

1265
01:27:51,220 --> 01:27:57,140
me or just this film is that this is a
really cool way to have sex if you do it

1266
01:27:57,140 --> 01:28:01,380
right. Anything that people don't
understand, they consider a strain.

1267
01:28:02,060 --> 01:28:06,360
or weird or bizarre or foreign.

1268
01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:12,020
And it's just a matter of them not
understanding that. It doesn't make the

1269
01:28:12,020 --> 01:28:15,500
itself bad or wrong or strange or
bizarre.

1270
01:28:15,860 --> 01:28:20,640
It's just the natural things that we
enjoy doing, whether that's water sports

1271
01:28:20,640 --> 01:28:24,180
that's fisting or that's barebacking or
even S andM.

1272
01:28:25,020 --> 01:28:29,880
There's nothing wrong with that if you
have consenting adults doing what makes

1273
01:28:29,880 --> 01:28:36,680
them happy. Whatever you can accomplish
is a quote -unquote natural act because

1274
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:38,940
you've been given the capacity to do it.

1275
01:28:39,180 --> 01:28:44,960
Sane, happy, competent people with good
relationships do kink and do SM, and

1276
01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,040
their lives are improved by it.

1277
01:28:47,260 --> 01:28:52,140
Way too many sex therapists have made
money and bought houses on the fact that

1278
01:28:52,140 --> 01:28:54,880
normal... doesn't come naturally.

1279
01:28:55,200 --> 01:28:58,580
For me, sexuality has always been about
my personal.

1280
01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:03,220
Growth and likes want me to understand
myself and to love myself as a person

1281
01:29:03,220 --> 01:29:06,960
to accept myself just as I am. The most
important thing I think any man can do,

1282
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:09,840
no matter what gets their dick heart, is
to admit what gets their dick heart and

1283
01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:10,599
do it.

1284
01:29:10,600 --> 01:29:15,700
If you like putting on lingerie and that
gets your dick heart and you're

1285
01:29:15,700 --> 01:29:20,240
tormented by the social ramifications of
it, it's only you that's losing because

1286
01:29:20,240 --> 01:29:23,600
at the end it's your dick, it's your
orgasm, and it's your life. If you like

1287
01:29:23,600 --> 01:29:26,680
taking two fists up your ass while being
hung from a chain and being slapped

1288
01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:27,680
around by...

1289
01:29:28,520 --> 01:29:32,600
You know, a big guy, a big muscular guy
who spits in your face, do it. Because

1290
01:29:32,600 --> 01:29:36,740
life is only so long. And if you
suppress your sexuality, one day you're

1291
01:29:36,740 --> 01:29:37,740
to turn back.

1292
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:41,620
Once you figure it out and find you're
at an age group or a bracket where it

1293
01:29:41,620 --> 01:29:44,420
will be very difficult to go back and
get that kind of gratification.

1294
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:47,820
Once you've gone to the extreme, then
where do you go?

1295
01:29:48,260 --> 01:29:49,260
Where does it end?

1296
01:29:49,340 --> 01:29:53,020
It goes on. Ever expanding the more
experience you get, the more you want to

1297
01:29:53,020 --> 01:29:56,020
something different. It just keeps going
and keeps going. A lot of sick shit out

1298
01:29:56,020 --> 01:29:57,020
there.

1299
01:29:57,240 --> 01:30:00,600
And I want to be right in the middle of
it. I don't know if this film would be

1300
01:30:00,600 --> 01:30:05,640
long enough to be able to explore every
aspect of kinky sex because there's all

1301
01:30:05,640 --> 01:30:08,220
different kinds of it. Believe me, we've
only just begun.

1302
01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:09,840
We've only just begun.

1303
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:11,400
Sex is way cool.

1304
01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,640
Enjoy it.

1305
01:30:37,900 --> 01:30:38,900
you